America is the best. Pic (sort of) related.

I will now exercize the usage of English primarily used in North America, that is, American English (en-US). I’ve heard from some of my friends that it’s advizable to use en-US because more people understand it, and because it’s more reflective of actual pronunciation.

When discussing spelling esthestics, en-US is definitely more pleasing to the eye. You gotta admit, Zs are pretty sexy, yeah? (See how cooler exercize and advize are when spelled with a Z?). Besides, all your words like analyse and realise have the ‘s’ pronouned as a ‘z’, so analyze and realize are logically sound decisions. In addition to this, American spelling tends to make a lot more sense. I mean, Julius Cesar would be delighted if he found out that his name is this easy to spell. Heck, the scientists would be too. We can shave not one, but TWO letters off the element “Cesum”. The physicists would be jumping up and down in joy too- well, only the ones studying airdynamics.

The lack of “i” in some words like “aluminum” is an ingenious idea; we can save ourselves unnecessary effort when talking about scientific terms, like the elements “strontum” and “rubidum”. My familiarity with en-US is mediocer at best, however, I am merely advizing everyone to use a simpler alternative. There will no longer be any problems arizing with people getting in debates as to which one is superior. I mean, even my editors had to compromize on their usage of en-US because I insisted on Commonwealth English.

Also, it has come to my attention that Commonwealth usage has a lot of doubled Ls. For example, they use “travelling”, even though the base verb is travel. Why make things harder for yourself? I like what the Americans are doing with their single Ls (traveling). It would be an excelent idea if we al adopted single Ls to save us al the confusion. It certainly is a compeling reason to switch, if you ask me.

Having separate spellings for too words that sound the same is just dumb. Everybody knows that theirs a difference between being physically exhausted and the rubber thing on your wheels. Why have too different spelings for to words that sound the same? Furthermore, why does the Commonwealth retain all the redundant Us in their words? I think it’s much smarter to remove them, such as mold, in en-US. Think of all the possibilites! (Like sholder, for example).

What perplexes me the most is the metric system. Who in their right mind would use it? 1000 millimetres in 1 metre? 1000 metres in 1 kilometre? Stop making our lives hard by using big numbers! See how easy the imperial system is? You have 12 inches in 1 foot, 3 feet in a yard, which makes perfectly good sense and is easy to calculate, instead of having to take off zeroes every time you want to convert between units. Also, 1 litres= 1000 millilitres= 1000 grams= 1 kilogram. How confusing is this shit? How on earth are you supposed to know how heavy a 2L bottle of coke is in kilograms? You’d have to multiply that by 1000 to convert it into millilitres, then recognize that 2000 millilitres= 2000 grams. Then you have to divide by 1000 to form 2 kilograms. What a pain to calculate!

Another thing to consider is the usage of Fahrenheit. The inventor of this system was a genius. Water freezes at 32°F, and boils at 212°F. What’s so remarkable about these numbers? Well, they span 180°! This means that a lot of the time, you won’t be needing stupid and confusing decimal places, since the range is so big (and you get more whole numbers in your temperature readings)!

At the end of the day, this may very wel be a pointless monolog of sum random person on the internet. Nevertheless, I wil continue revizing and practicing the grate language, that is, American English. Eye am confident that Commonwealth English wil meat its demize in the near future.

Oh yeah, here’s some yuri twincest.

Posted in Miscellaneous
7 comments on “America is the best. Pic (sort of) related.
  1. robthebin says:

    Sarcasm is hard to detect on the internet. On a side note, picture FTW!

  2. Skarlath says:

    The first part of your post sounded quite serious actually, but the further i read into it, the more sarcastic you got, until the last paragraph really…hurt my eyes.

    And that picture looks very intriguing, as a fan of yuri

  3. AMURKIAN says:

    Is it a practice of Commonwealth English to be translating fiction in the present continuous? I cannot be saying that I find it good literary style. Perhaps you are agreeing.

    • Insemination says:

      Writing in present tense also allows greater flexibility, as I can switch to past tense when emphasis requires it. Authors tend to write in the past, as it comes naturally when you’re telling a story. However, Japanese porn games are a different medium altogether. Our protagonist is narrating the story as it unfolds, so there’s no reason to be using past tense. This isn’t a diary entry.

      PS. I see what you did there.

  4. Kurami says:

    Hmm, what wall of text? I was busy lookin’ at the twincest.

  5. Padre says:

    I took you seriously for the first two paragraphs. Started getting suspicious around the third-fourth paragraph, and called bullshit from the next paragraph onwards. A little sarcasm can sure add a little colour to an update, eh?.

  6. Silver says:

    Oh man, I took it seriously for a while until the 3rd paragraph then realized it’s sarcasm. As an engineering student in my last year, freaking US units piss everyone off. I mean take something simple like the density of water in SI units which is approximately 1000 kg/m^3. Beautiful isn’t it? In US units, it’s 1.940 slugs/ft^3. Yeah who the hell came up with freaking “slugs” and not only that dealing with damn “slugs” is a pain and why is it called slugs? How many slugs do you have in your garden? AAARRGH why why can’t it be easy. Fahrenheit is actually not as bad and actually makes a bit more sense if you consider the reason why those numbers are chosen.

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